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Saturday, March 27, 2010

(warning: amusing, and lengthy)

The past two days have been pretty epic....Thursday we went up to P-town (the Big City). The morning started out with a nice bit of excitement: My mom saw my dad's ghost. The short version of the story is that he was still in bed, whilst my mom is convinced she saw his reflection outside, for quite a while.  O.o

On the spur of the moment we decided to drive to P-town.  I promptly demanded that I be allowed to wash my hair.....this was granted, with the stipulation that I not take very long....I wound up being the first person waiting in the garage, hehe. My hair was still wet....but behold, there on a garage shelf was, of all things, a hair-dryer......doubtless used for blow-drying the windshield prior to application of rain-repellant. Never one to miss an opportunity, I proceeded to blow dry my hair with it.  ^.^

In P-town we went to Ikea (Swedish furniture store) and bought a kitchen sink.....amidst direful warnings that it would mean the disruption of the kitchen for the next few weeks, in the style of the Great Sink Débacle of 2009, which saw the upstairs bath sink (my personal property) in disarray for WEEKS. 

Yesterday was packed with bits of randomness.....first thing in the morning (well, first thing when I got up which was not til 10) I came downstairs and found the kitchen in the predicted state of conniption. The new sink was on the table and there seemed an unwarranted lot of stuff sitting about. Despite this, I baked a chocolate cake, then went into town with my dad to buy cream for the frosting, and pick up the lawn-mower which had been taken in for repairs, and also take some stuff to the recycle.  

My dad was talking about hiring someone to install the sink....or rather to make it level, with boards on the side.....anyways: "Yes, they will prop the low side up with dollar bills, that's how much it'll cost..."

We first stopped at the Co-op, in order to deposit the recycle at the provided bins. Then decided that "Haha well since we're here, we'd better stop in and get some food...." and went and bought a lot of groceries. 

Then it was on to Trader Joe's (upscale grocery, for those deprived souls in the wilderness of whereever-there-are-no-Trader-Joe'ses).  We were just going in, in our identical signature Carlson bouncy walks, and both making amusing comments, when I spotted my grandmother's car parked out front of the store. We went in, found the cream and my grandma....she tends to ply us with food...anyways, we wound up all checking out together and there came the next bit of grandma was plying us with the goat cheese she'd bought, and we were separating out our cream, and the cashier was helping us.....we had four people all gathered round the paper sack full of groceries. My dad was starting to laugh, and I was chuckling (of course), and finally we paid and the cashier thrust another empty bag at us to divvy up the groceries among.  Our Trader Joe's has got a bit of an exit problem....there is a sort of little isle that the entire mass of people exiting the store has got to go through. One incident at the check-out, one dropped cheese, one over-excited grocery bag, and the whole place can pile up. 

Whilst in the store my dad bought a box of so-called "thousand-layer crackers".....little Asian treats that nobody except him likes. The first time he bought them (I quote) "I had to eat the entire box and not like them....then there were two left which somehow hadn't gotten into the recycle, and they were pretty good."   He admits that they have sort of an unpleasant taste: "...sort of like burnt fish...." 

The whole gather-round-the-grocery-bag episode remained in our conversation as we hit the high road again.    I commented that the incident would have been made more epic had there been a couple of high-powered executives attempting to leave the store at the same time, through the afore-mentioned little isle. Yes, I did actually say 'high-powered executives'. ("With their espresso smoothies in hand," my dad chipped in.) "Heading off to their power-lunch....isn't that what those things are called, power lunches?" Dad agreed--"Yes, power lunch....wouldn't it be funny if there was, say, some sort of have a couple of high-powered executives at a power lunch, and (just casually) one of them pulls out a power bar--" (insert hoots of laughter from me) "--and gestures with it--"  "Yes, shows the profits going Up, Up, Up!" (dad cracks up) "And as the shot finishes, the other executive propounds a theory: 'Yes, this is it, let's do this!'....and he takes a bite out of his power bar..." 

On to the next attraction: picking up the lawn mower. This is where we were, to quote my dad, 'snookered'. (A side note: the term had not crossed my path before yesterday, I requested my dad explain it to me, and he made general reference to 'billiards, but I never know whether to call it billiards or know, where you're supposed to put all the balls into the pocket except for the white one....'  Anyways, as far as I can make out from the authoritative Mirriam-Webster's Online, the word refers to being 'hoodwinked'.  Mmph. 

The way in which we were snookered was not at first apparent, it was left to my dad to relate it to me.....we pulled into the parking lot, and my dad paused to eat a Thousand-layer Cracker of Doom. In this split second of delay, of Hesitation, another car pulled in beside us: a Large Car, one could even say a Too-big Car. (The driver also honked, as if to presage his another car, I believe. It could not have been us, WE were harmlessly sitting there eating our Thousand-layer Crackers.)
"Oop! Look at that, he's going to get in there before us...."  My dad decided to wait in the car for an opportune moment to go in. I observed that the Too-big Car had a load of brush in the back, piled up. "You see all that brush? All piled up, with a bungee-cord? Well do you think [I was getting silly at this point] that he's going to get a brush-hog or whatever those things are, bring it out here and test it out on the brush? Seems quite reasonable, just like bringing along the camera when you want to see if it fits in the messenger-bag...or wait, I think I'm planning to bring the bag to the camera instead of the camera to the bag..."  "Yes, he'll try it out, won't stop until there's no brush in the bed of the truck, and the parking lot is just covered...but it's a Power-mower" (this, to tie in with the high-powered executives.)

My dad then proceeded to go in and attempt to get our lawn-mower. This is where he was snookered. I was told of this afterwards: I stayed in the car and ventured to eat half of a Thousand-layer Cracker, but did not get very far because of foresaid burnt-fish savor, and nasty after-taste. As I later said, "It doesn't taste too great at first, then about a second into it's not too bad, but then it leaves a nasty taste in your mouth." "Yes, it has a weak finish...." 
Dad came out: "Another cracker..." (I proffer him my half-eaten one)   [Talking about it later: "I had time to come out, have another cracker and file down a hang-nail..."]  

Evidently the first customer was indeed getting some sort of lawn developed that he couldn't take it home with him BECAUSE of the brush in the bed of the truck.  Most amusing, really. 
Then the repair-store owner said not to use regular gasoline, the ethanol kills the engine...but recommended a little place down in south-town where we could get pure gasoline. My dad said he hadn't thought it served people, had to have a card. But no..."You can get in without a card if you go in the daytime, not at night...and not on weekends..." 

There had been some talk that we might drive BACK up to P-town yesterday, to buy a cabinet to go with the sink.....also rumors that I might be forced to go along....OH, THE HUMANITY....I really did not want to go, it meant a good 3 hours on the road round trip, and it's hard to listen to music 'cause the car is very noisy, and I can't hear the talk in the front seat very well, and anyway I didn't want to go up there two days in a row. But when the fam. requires that I come along for a Family Outing, well....
I asked my dad to 'lobby on my behalf'. 

We got home (around 2 that afternoon) and found my mom thinking about P-town, and cabinets. I was in the kitchen, drying my hands, and I nipped into the laundry room and asked if I had to go with. "Maybe you'll go, and maybe you won't" was the reply.  O.o   Still clutching the kitchen towel, I hustled through the hallway, out to the garage, gave a squeak of dismay ("Daddy!") as I heard the unmistakeable sound of the lawn-mower firing up on the back lawn. I popped out of the door and waved the towel at him: "Mommy says she wants to go to P-town today and she wants to come cause she wants a cabinet for the laundry room" --gasp-- "and she says maybe I'll come and maybe I won't and I want you to lobby so I don't have to go...and the FROSTING...." I trailed off and cracked up: "I pop out and wave a towel at you....."  (Dad gets signature chuckly look on his face)  We went inside and I started the frosting as per mum's direction, as we wouldn't be leaving for a while. 

"You know, I foresee this frosting taking a long time" --meaningfully-- "This is the sort that takes a few hours of stirring while it cools.....oh and I'm going to make it softer this time...."  Dad: "Mmm! That's even better! How do you do that?"  "Just a higher ratio of cream to chocolate...." 

We wound up not going to P-town dad went off to town to get the gasoline, and I tidied the kitchen, dyed my hair, went shopping and bought t-shirts, and spent the evening chatting with Insane Buddy named Einar :D   I also spent a while trying to type up this blog post but kept getting distracted with email, multiple chats, Skype, facebook, and et cetera. Oh yeah: I henna-ed my hair again last night...came downstairs with my hair wrapped in a plastic sack.....ahh deja vu.  Lol. It's sorta more red, I think I'll redo it....
Did not get more than 6 hours of sleep last night and I am rather whacked today! 


Einar said...

The Frosting MUST be done right! Niether Rain nor Snow, nor Heat nor P-Town.......

Yer Thousand-Layer-Cracker experience sounds like when my Mom decided we were never gonna buy any milk but Soy milk, I *HATE* Soy milk...nearly died...

She has been constrained to buying only HERSELF soy milk, as the rest of the family feels the same as me, lol


Bethany said...

heheh, don't you love it when parents make decisions on food 'FROM NOW ON we only buy/don't buy such-and-such' :D
I happen to like soymilk, but I try not to drink it because I think there's too much conflicting evidence about the health risks of unfermented soy in general.
Goat's milk, is the thing around here....I love it but it is very expensive. We have a source for RAW goat's milk, which I am pretty sure is illegal but it sure is tasty. I dislike cow's milk....tastes so cowy....hehe