transcript of trademarked hilarity

Hehe: posting from school via email......here is the transcript of a conversation between my dad and myself on Saturday. We had found that there was Not, as originally thought, a farmers' market downtown, and had stopped in at Rice N Spice, the local Asian grocery, to drown our sorrows by buying Nutella and crackers. Not the same as the infamous Thousand-layer Crackers of Doom.  The asafetida mentioned is a foreign spice that has been terrorizing our household for the past week. It is foul, it smells exactly like rotten eggs.....or the unpleasant part of onions...hehe. Me dad got into the car and sneakily turned on his Tascam DR 87 audio recorder.....Anyways, I present to you......

Me: Let's see, I was talking about....I was making a Thousand-Layer Cracker joke.

Dad: That's a category of joke! It's called Thousand-layer Cracker Jokes. It applies to foods, in fact that's the title of a blog; it's a food blog.

Me: *laughter* Hoo boy....oh that's it, i was going to ask you about the asafetida: Where is it hiding? Where is it lurking?

Dad: I have it in inside of a bag inside of another bag inside of another bag--

Me: --yes and you can still smell it, where is it?

Dad: -inside..but if you put it in a yogurt container with the lid on it, THEN you don't smell it anymore.

Me: Hah, but where is this actual little, this little, um,

Dad: Right now it's

Me: --this little ENTITY--

Dad: it's upstairs in my bedroom with a [mumble] in it

Me: HAAAH! With a what in it?

Dad: With a cracker in it

Me: Eheheh!

[we had bought an unrelated carton of Asian crackers in Rice N Spice the Asian grocery.....]

Dad: Oh, look at these nice packages!

Me: That is seriously the funniest thing....

Dad: Now a green one or a red one?

Me: (to myself) with a cracker in it....    [I keep thinking about the yogurt container with cracker and asafetida whilst dad opens package of crackers]

Dad: What is it?

Me: With a cracker in it! That was just ...very funny

[a pause, while I laugh and dad eats cracker]

Dad: Mmm!

Me: Was it just last week that we made Thousand-layer Cracker jokes? I think it was two weeks ago wasn't it....what was I doing last week?

Dad: I was trying to get the lawn mower, right?

Me: well it was trying to get the lawn mower....LAST week..HMM...last week was the week before Easter..or day before Easter...um it was right after we went up to P______, I remember that, cause I was making jokes about P-town also...

Dad: About what-town?

Me: P-town!

Dad: Hm!

Me: And then of course C_____ is C-town....

Dad: [to himself] THERE's the keys....

Me: [as he eats another cracker] Eat another cracker....

Dad: I'd just better put this back in the back [putting bag of crackers in the back seat out of harm's way, sounds of Bethany snickering] I think what would be the PERFECT mix is one of the....two of these--

Me: You've got your Tascam recording this whole thing!

Dad: Two of these [new crackers] to one--[door slam] to one of the Thousands. That would just perfectly cancel out the...burnt fish taste.

Me: [laughter] I thought you said it was burnt axel grease....

Dad: Actually it's not the fish that's burnt, that's right, it's more the plastic part that got burned, not the fish, it's the plastic the fish was served on [me: HAAA] was too sizzling hot

Me: Oh, where are we going now?

[pause]   Home? I think we are...or the Co-op?

Dad: [mouth full of cracker] You think there's one out there at the Fairgrounds? [we'd been trying to find the farmers' market]

Me: Umm

Dad: There should be, shouldn't there....

Me: [depressed] I dunno....

Dad: Would they go off for two weeks at a time?

Me: Oh, what if it's not down by the waterfront but instead by the skate park, where they have the Wednesday market? That would seem rather unusual....[Tascam is turned off]